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But what if insecurity wasn’t as big of a problem as we think?
I remember when Otto and I were first together and I was really insecure because of what I thought the future would be like for us if our relationship lasted.
Because I’m 16 years older than Otto, I feared what I would be like (especially my body) at 80 with Otto a young 64.
All I saw in my mind was saggy skin and mounds of wrinkles.
This insecurity held me back in certain ways until I saw the truth…
I realized that I was making up a fearful future that may or may not happen.
I saw how absurd it was to not enjoy or even give up the gifts of the present moment for thoughts of how undesirable I may be at a certain age.
Gradually that critical voice inside me that stoked my insecure feelings faded and died away.
I’ve been so grateful ever since that I followed the knowing inside me that said this was a person and relationship I could grow with through the years.
If I’d followed and believed my insecure thoughts, I would have shied away from this beautiful relationship.
But I didn’t.
One of our teachers, Sydney Banks, told the story that at one time in his life, he was attending a personal growth workshop and complained to a colleague that he was so insecure.
The man stopped him in his tracks by saying something like this…
“You’re not insecure. You just think you are!”
Since I heard that story, every time I have insecure thoughts about something that I’m afraid to do or think I’m not good at…
I remember that I’m not insecure but I just have some insecure thinking that I’m believing to be true.
So how to do you stop being so insecure?
I talked with a young college guy the other day who was anxious and insecure about his upcoming senior year because of his senior thesis.
He was worried that he hadn’t worked hard enough during the summer on making headway on writing this huge project.
As he talked about his insecure feelings and fears, he saw something new.
He remembered that for many seniors, their projects changed many times throughout the year with the guidance of mentor professors.
I could see him relax as he released his self-induced pressure.
Will his insecurity and anxiety come up again?
It may but hopefully he’ll remember that it is all created by him believing his limiting thinking about a fearful future that may not happen.
The problem with insecurity is it makes us doubt our divinity, our goodness, our worth and we lose our feeling of possibilities in love and life.
The truth is that you don’t have to buy into what you perceive other people think about you or the limitations you put on yourself.
You can see that the opposite can be just as true and you can have a more peaceful, happier experience at whatever you do.
Your relationships can be filled with more love as well.